Full Disclosure

In the interest of full transparency, I will share that in addition to what I mentioned in my previous post (“You are Loved“), not only am I enjoying rooting for the first time in 8 years, growing gardens and other simple delights ~ but in the larger picture I’ve had to because I stretched myself to a frayed thread and have needed healing.

See, in the early summer of 2013 I developed a strong case of adrenal fatigue from living full time on the road. Though I have made great strides in recovering my health, have played some sweet gigs along the way, and given myself lovely bouts of downtime (ahh, winter huddled in a shack in the Oregon wilds…), only now is my zest for performing (or even being a part of the human-world) really coming back. Yes, even through my whole 2015 album release (which I’m so proud of!), I was still running on fumes, empty and exhausted inside, unsure of my every next step… So when I finished my lil release tour and the BIG Boulder release concert, I really fell to the earth…

In these last two years since then, I’ve made a practice of walking and witnessing the wilds as much as possible, of reconnecting with my own wild, natural soul. I’ve stepped off the stage and into the woods in order to reclaim my basic humanness, my animalness even… But it has been hard to speak of this, because how does an artist confess, “I’ve lost it, I’m not here for you now,” and still maintain her readership? So I’ve done my best to keep a small thread alive, play some select gigs, and to take you with me to some extent through pictures and stories I might share. But I haven’t been as available or open as I like to be, and I truly hope I can return to that. Yes, I know there will be many ebbs and flows in my open/closed, introversion/extroversion dance throughout our days. But I hope I can be ever more clear and honest as I navigate them 🙂

In honor of this delicate passage I’ve walked through, I’m sharing this [previously unreleased] photo which is a step back in time to that moment when my adrenals started to fail and my smile began to fade… But as you can see, even in that fragile, lost state, my dedication to the earth and her beauty was still very much alive ~ and indeed, that is the thing that has strengthened me the most in this time of recovery, rediscovery, and renewal…

So as ever, for her glories, for her creatures I will sing. My dear mama earth, celestial home, cherished wild mother ~ You make me whole, you welcome me into your endless and beautiful arms…


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